Things they fail to mention when it comes to pregnancy

1. Your ass will bleed. Hemorrhoids during pregnancy are horrible. I can not wait until my butt is my butt again and not some unraveling mess.  Couldn't have survived without baby wipes.  Sometimes they get so bad it feels like bubble gum is hanging out of your ass.

2. You better be wearing a liner at ALL times because you NEVER know what is going to happen.  Forget your water breaking, you will have many months of things leaking out.

3. If this isn't your first baby don't expect a lot of help.  You are expected to be a master at all of this already.

4. If you are lucky like me your boobs start leaking REALLY early. I am talking 5 months with my first pregnancy. This time I was lucky and didn't have too much of an issue with them.

-weird fact: your boobs don't fully mature until you become pregnant, i read it in one of the MANY pregnancy books.

5. Not everyone has crazy cravings. No pickles and ice cream for me. I liked milkshakes and carmel apples, but I like those a lot already. One time I HAD to have a gyro, but I didn't slather it with something off the wall either. Some people crave things that you are not supposed to eat... like dirt and soap. I'll pass...

6. Everyone that is pregnant is not a happy, shiny, I love everything about this experience, kind of person.  I was the farthest thing away from that.  Most people can't believe that I had more than one kid because of how horrible the first one was for me.

7. Morning sickness is misleading.  You can have it all day, every day or in the afternoon or night or all of the above.  I really have no advice on this one. Nothing helped for me. Your doctor can prescribe you something, but read about the birth defects and what category it is in before you take anything.

8. It is true that every pregnancy is different. And everyone will have suggestions for you. EVERYONE.

9. Eventually you will get so big you can't see your own crotch.  I haven't seen mine in months although I am pretty sure it is still there.

10. Never ask a pregnant woman if she is carrying twins.  I want to punch people.  Everyone carries babies differently.  Plus, why the hell are they asking if they are fat themselves?  What is THEIR excuse?